


Deck The Halls

by Merixcil



Series: Advent Fics 2018 [15]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M, Gen, canon typical bigotry, charlie's brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25287985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: Charlie catches Dee doing Charlie work and uses the opportunity to discuss some improvements around Paddy's
Relationships: Charlie Kelly & Dee Reynolds, Charlie Kelly/Dee Reynolds
Series: Advent Fics 2018 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824643
Kudos: 3





	Deck The Halls

Dee was doing that thing she did when she thought no one was watching here where she tried to clean the glasses properly and wiped down the bar till it looked all nice and shiny. Usually they got more customers to stick around for a second drink after she did this, but Charlie would never rat her out to the others. It was nice watching her get really into cleaning, it made him feel like they might have something in common. 

But see, the thing was, Charlie really had to sneeze. Like so bad. It was coming, he could feel it, no matter how hard he tried to swallow it back down. It would rematerialise as a ghoul in his stomach and possibly cause him cramps for days but it would have been worth it if only he could stop the sneeze. 

He couldn’t stop the sneeze. It came out hard enough that he hit his head on the back of the vent and then he had a whole new problem to deal with. 

Dee stopped with the rag and the glasses and the top of the bar very quickly. She slapped the counter-top and Charlie could just see her head vibrating in rage. “”Goddmmit, Charlie! Are you spying on me?”

“No! Of course I’m not spying on you.” Charlie protested. His voice sounded weird and echoey in the vents. Like he was secretly many different people and when he was up here, they could all talk to each other. “I was chasing down this rat that’s been laughing at me for like a month and you were doing your thing and maybe I stopped to watch for a minute but that’s not spying.”

“It’s absolutely spying! Watching a woman at work without her knowledge is spying!” Dee’s voice was very shrill. If she had been in the vents it wouldn’t have been nice to have to hear all the different versions of her talking over one another. At least Charlie was pretty sure that the people up here with him were all on the same page. 

He started shuffling forward towards the nearest exit. Not that he had found his rat, but Dee was starting to get worked up like she needed him and it was best to anticipate her needs where possible. “Well then it was accidental spying. I didn’t even see anything, you were just cleaning.”

“I…I was…I wouldn’t… Oh goddamit Charlie.”

“It’s fine, Dee. I like it, makes the bar look good. You know I love anything that makes the bar look good.” Charlie popped out of the vent behind the bar. Dee spun round too fast and screeched when she saw him, her foot coming forward to hit him in the face. 

A long way from the first broken nose Charlie had ever had but he didn’t particularly like having to get them. First of all, they hurt. Second of all, they gave him black eyes for days at a time that made him look like a raccoon or a panda, neither animals that he particularly trusted. 

“What was that for?” He screamed, jumping up and reaching for a handful of paper napkins. 

Dee slapped hand away. “Oh no you don’t. I just finished putting those away, no way are you messing them up.”

“My nose is bleeding! You kicked me in the face!”

“I only kicked you in the face because you startled me.” Dee leaned back, hand resting on her hip like she thought she’d won the argument but she was looking at Charlie with that kinda worried expression she used when she was trying to trick herself into believing she was more of a heartless bitch than she actually was. “Goddammit. Here you go.” She passed him the cloth she had been using on the glasses. It smelt kinda funny, but it was very absorbent. 

“Thanks, Dee.” Charlie grinned, having gotten the cloth shoved firmly up his nose. “I've been meaning to talk to you about something, actually.”

“If it’s about cleaning the bar, then I should tell you that that’s Charlie work.” Dee cut in. 

Charlie looked to the very clean glasses on the very clean bar. “Well it kinda looks like it might be Dee work too.”

“Nuh uh, no way.”

“I’m just saying, the evidence is pretty damning.” 

“No it’s not, there is no evidence.”

“I could tell the rest of the gang about this.”

“They’d never believe you.” Dee replied with a self satisfied smile. Goddammit. She was probably right. “Can I go now?”

“No!” Charlie shook his head and felt the blood move around inside his nose. It was weird. “I didn’t wanna talk to you about the cleaning. I love that you do the cleaning sometimes. I wanted to talk about the bar.”

Dee looked around like she’d never seen the place before. Which was weird, because she was in here all the time. “What about it?”

“I was just thinking, like, it’s Christmas. And…and…and maybe we should get some Christmas decorations up. Like some lights, some tinsel, maybe a tree.” Charlie could feel the idea getting away from him but Dee hadn’t told him to shut up yet and he liked that. 

Dee nodded slowly. “Spread a bit of Christmas cheer. I could get behind that. Christmas only, though. None of these other shitty winter festivals. It’s like, no one cares that you don’t want presents or that you only talk to Jewish Santa, am i right?”

“Yeah.” Charlie had no idea what Dee was talking about. 

“Let’s just really go in. Deck the halls and all that crap.”

Charlie frowned. He wasn’t aware of that particular part of Christmas decorating. “Ok, man, if you want. We might need to take it in turns, though.”

“Charlie!”

“What?”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m decking the halls, like you said.” Charlie cradled his hand, it was getting pretty sore. he’d torn the skin off his knuckles after the second punch and he hadn’t managed to tear a hole in the back office wall yet. 

Dee stared at him, her mouth hanging open. “You cannot be this stupid.”

Which was nice of her to say. Most people were telling Charlie he was dumb all the time. Having someone doubt his idiocy put a real positive spin on what he was starting to suspect were two broken fingers. 

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally posted as part of a multi chaptered 'advent fics' fic that I'm trying to split up. If you think you've read it before, you probably have


End file.
